A Poem for a New Dachshund Owner

 Don't smell crotches, don't eat plants.
Don't steal food or underpants.
Don't eat my socks, don't grab my hair.
Don't rip the stuffing from that chair!
Don't eat those peas! Don't touch that bush!

Don't chew my shoes. What IS that mush?
Eat your cookies. Drink your drink,
Outta the toilet! Outta the sink!
Away from the cat box, it's for the cat!
And MUST you kiss me after that?
Yes, raising a puppy, is not for the lazy!
Though puppies are funny, they're also quite crazy.
But don't despair, though its toil and strife.
After three years, you'll get back your life!
So, let's go for "walkies", you can "do your thing"
And perhaps I'll get back my good diamond ring!

Author Unknown